Sunday, January 10, 2016

If I Were a Cantaloupe

By Toby Hudson (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

If I were a cantaloupe here's what I’d do
I’d rock and roll just me and my crew
Just so you know it … this is exactly what I do
Let me introduce to you my band Fruitilicious
On keyboards we have Elton Kiwis
On Sax from Asia Zesty Lance Lemon
Blowin his own horn is Frenchy Macintosh
Our Flute player Kenny G Lime
On bass we have Pansy Papayas
Our lead guitarist Gabriel Banana can rock but cannot roll
On drums Cringo Coconut just a wild and crazy one
Then there is me Classy Mercury Cantaloupe and I play percussions

Here's Our Story

Back in the summer of 69 some of us members met on set while we were making…….. …….you got it; Fruit of Loom commercials.
Tired of working our skin to the pulp we decided to have some fun and start a band. We advertised in the Florida Orange Julius, a local paper.
Here's how the add read:
For all fruits that want to try out for a new rock n roll band starting up, give us dingle.
Unfortunately we had to expand our search further. Due to it being summer, all fruits had gone north for the season. So off we went on a road trip hitching a ride in the back of a fruit truck that was heading up to San Francisco. When we arrived we were very pleased to find many talented fruits just hanging out by the bay.
Needing a place to stay we checked into the YMCA with the Village People who just wanted to eat us up. Luckily Frenchy pulled out his horn and blew them away.

Our first gig was at Aunt Charlie’s Lounge where we were a big hit among the San Franciscans.
We played in many hot spots in and around the Frisco area.
After becoming very popular we hit up a recording studio and recorded the following, which is one of our juiciest songs.
Hope that you enjoy it.

“Don’t Eat The Fruit”

by Fruitilicious

We are Fruitilicious and we’re here to say
Don’t eat fruit and don’t throw it away
Mothers tell your daughters we are bad to eat
Instead eat potatoes with lots and lots of meat
Fathers tell your sons tell them today
If you see fruit just run quickly away


We’re gonna rock we’re gonna roll
We’re gonna fill your ears full of soul
We’re gonna rock we’re gonna roll
We’re gonna sing till we get outta da grove


Don’t eat an apple a day
It does not keep the doctor away
The skin gets stuck between your teeth
Makes your gums bleed underneath


We’re gonna rock we’re gonna roll
We’re gonna fill our pockets with gold
We’re gonna rock we’re gonna roll
We’re gonna sing till we’re very old


Don’t you know that eating fruit every day
Will make you fart in a smelly way
Start each day with bagels and cheese
Make sure that you eat lots of these



Fruits are really bad to consume
Eat them and you’ll look like a buffoon
Leave us fruits alone we convey
You don’t need any vitamins today

Hope you enjoyed the song and we will be coming to your town soon.
© 2011 Susan Zutautas